Dear Dairy,
This week i start my work experience and just for a week to observe what the company do how they work and help up.. But too bad my timing is not that good which now is in winter season so there's not much to do so i just sat there and wondering=p..By the way is a rental company=) during that time text my cousin and chat and she said some quite funny things to me such as if my school wants us to write a report then I'll cry and etc=p which of course i hope that i doesn't need to write a report+ i really have nothing to write.
This week i started to talk to her(my sister)cause of the youngest not well so in the end have to talk to the young to look after her...felt that my personality is weak not strong enough..must try to be more strong..+oil..
Don't know what do i want to do in the future do i wants to continue in travel industry or change??
And change to what subject?A little confusing hopefully can figure it out soon...Wish me Luck
-The End-
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
unhappy again?
Dear Dairy,
Actually i have a not so good day again but don't know how to said so I'll just said these few days.
4 days now me and father talk but he didn't said anything about the stuff happen before or may be they don't even notice that I'm upset/hurt.
The day after we argue i didn't really talk to him not even say about That younger SISTER until today i don't n did not talk to her.am i cruel??
Who cares? i trying and learning not to cares what they(family) think of me anymore.No matter what in the eyes/hearts/mind the younger Sister is always good and the youngest is naughty but still a kid and as for me..I'm the one who always stick with the computer and look stuff to argue with the younger sister
but can i really do it? not care? sometimes i really don't know whether do i belongs to this family or may be i should say most of the time.even though this keep on wondering in my mind the facts is in their daughter too..just that not in the first place and haven't been in a long long time..i know it cause i can felt it
Why?people said at "home have family,outside have friends"..seem like i don't have both..
everything i have/used to have are now gone.
Family:who's upset/hurts me the most.
Friends:those can be trust and are close and understands me in different country..those in the same country are not close and not sure can be trust..
I'm not an active person or a person that good in talking or social..in another words I'm bad in those.
Trying to change my life but think is easy and when really wanted to do it is so hard for me..I don't know how long can i takes it anymore..really don't know what else to think or do..
But still hopefully things will change and gets better for me
-The End-
Actually i have a not so good day again but don't know how to said so I'll just said these few days.
4 days now me and father talk but he didn't said anything about the stuff happen before or may be they don't even notice that I'm upset/hurt.
The day after we argue i didn't really talk to him not even say about That younger SISTER until today i don't n did not talk to her.am i cruel??
Who cares? i trying and learning not to cares what they(family) think of me anymore.No matter what in the eyes/hearts/mind the younger Sister is always good and the youngest is naughty but still a kid and as for me..I'm the one who always stick with the computer and look stuff to argue with the younger sister
but can i really do it? not care? sometimes i really don't know whether do i belongs to this family or may be i should say most of the time.even though this keep on wondering in my mind the facts is in their daughter too..just that not in the first place and haven't been in a long long time..i know it cause i can felt it
Why?people said at "home have family,outside have friends"..seem like i don't have both..
everything i have/used to have are now gone.
Family:who's upset/hurts me the most.
Friends:those can be trust and are close and understands me in different country..those in the same country are not close and not sure can be trust..
I'm not an active person or a person that good in talking or social..in another words I'm bad in those.
Trying to change my life but think is easy and when really wanted to do it is so hard for me..I don't know how long can i takes it anymore..really don't know what else to think or do..
But still hopefully things will change and gets better for me
-The End-
Thursday, August 6, 2009
my 1st blog but is unhappy thing
This happen to be my first time really type a blog. I was thinking to create it to type thing when/while i felt unhappy/upset/angry/bad mood even terrible mood.
These stuff kinda happen to much quite much just have to rate it in nothing ,not good ,normal ,bad or serious.
what happen to me today is kinda normal to bad to serious.
althought i felt can't be worst during the day but after thinkin git back its a terrible bad day for me.
1st is in morning a little short argue with father cause of what my sister did a.k.a his lovely 2nd daugther some how he can change it become my fault.
Details:She took my stocks and wear is not the 1st time and i tell her quite many time not to take my thing not to enter my room.she has her own things why wanna take mine use mine?this morning when i looking for my black stocks adn cant find it the first time came to my mind is HER AGAIN without second thought..wanna tell father so that he may be will talk to her but what he did is said i'm blaming her show him the proof he said that eveyone stock is missing so she use mine but he didn't even realize that she still have her own stocks to wear not that she totally out of stock even she totally out of stocks she SHOULD not took mine. some how he able to change topic n become my faulth that no one collect n fold the clothes. i don't want to argue back with him so just kept quite but in my mind like WHAT?? those are not my clothes u guys wanna me to fold my own clothes and i did those are not my job anymore cause before u guys say that fold my own clothes so will be lesser for mother cause most is mine clothes. i did it so the rest i will not and do not want to care. in the end i think he notice i upset of what he said.
But he don't even bother AT ALL.So upset that my tears is going to come out and i have to keep hold it not letting it come out..(father driving me to another bus station to take bus where is more bus to go to my school)
2nd is my day may be of the upset thing make me have a headache. Not easy to stop thinking about what happen in morning but in th end did felt better even suddenly know that the bus stop service from 9.30am till 1.30pm cause i got class in 8am so didn't notice today have a closed book assessment so like finish at 10.30 then have to caught a bus to someplace to buy stuff then somepeople told that the bus stop service between that time and suggest me to take a train and i have to walk a while to the train station and i have not take a train at this country before so felt abit nervous n scare. headache the whole time. eventhough i reach the place to buy thing i still have to caught a bus home cause there only bus go to my area so have to wait till 1.30pm. okay time here bus not here wait for 1 Hour and 20 min then the bus arrive while waiting my headache getting worse. this is not the worst part of my day.
3rd is when i reach home only me in the house. went into MY ROOM saw a sticky note on my HEATER which i know is HER(sister a.k.a Father 2nd daughter) stick it on it there wrote RUDE WORDS on it on the second sticky note first sticky note is just some signiture of her.On that time i cant hold my tears anylonger i cried on a same time trying to stop to cry.(95% sure is her hand writing)(5% hope that im wrong)
4th in the end i wanna to let father know that what her lovely precious 2nd daughter did. okay this might be the worst part fpr me in today he asked me i told him that i found it on my heater and ask hom to ask her 2nd daughter by himself he asked how smart of her trying to change the topic by saying "can i eat this" still did not answer the question she say that her writong is not that bad n went into room left ne do the answering but i have no answer..THE stupid thing that father say is who wrote this could it be any one else.since he should know that:
1. i found it in my room and looks like her writing
2.she the only one how how to unlock my room door and go into my room
but what do we know he don't believe that she will do such things even there is proof in front of him.I'm so so angry and I say then is me if not her.tears are out that time cause it really hurts me but i don't think anyone in this family really cares.What do i know again im right again no ones really cares my feeling. may be can't blame them already.inthe end she come out and tell father that is her friend wrote it.well well y dont i trust her cause she's lying that what she always do to get out of toubles that she did PUSH IT TO OTHER.
That time i was in my room crying like hell what can i do o said anymore NOTHING he always listen to her more than me trust her more than me.WHY??
What did i do wrong??
In this house I'm better than her but why do u treats me like this and treats her so good..when i say no one care really no one cares he then no come to me talk to me o see how i was doing ..HATES IT
Chat with my cousin she understand me but she only n listen since we are in different counrty.
-THE END-
These stuff kinda happen to much quite much just have to rate it in nothing ,not good ,normal ,bad or serious.
what happen to me today is kinda normal to bad to serious.
althought i felt can't be worst during the day but after thinkin git back its a terrible bad day for me.
1st is in morning a little short argue with father cause of what my sister did a.k.a his lovely 2nd daugther some how he can change it become my fault.
Details:She took my stocks and wear is not the 1st time and i tell her quite many time not to take my thing not to enter my room.she has her own things why wanna take mine use mine?this morning when i looking for my black stocks adn cant find it the first time came to my mind is HER AGAIN without second thought..wanna tell father so that he may be will talk to her but what he did is said i'm blaming her show him the proof he said that eveyone stock is missing so she use mine but he didn't even realize that she still have her own stocks to wear not that she totally out of stock even she totally out of stocks she SHOULD not took mine. some how he able to change topic n become my faulth that no one collect n fold the clothes. i don't want to argue back with him so just kept quite but in my mind like WHAT?? those are not my clothes u guys wanna me to fold my own clothes and i did those are not my job anymore cause before u guys say that fold my own clothes so will be lesser for mother cause most is mine clothes. i did it so the rest i will not and do not want to care. in the end i think he notice i upset of what he said.
But he don't even bother AT ALL.So upset that my tears is going to come out and i have to keep hold it not letting it come out..(father driving me to another bus station to take bus where is more bus to go to my school)
2nd is my day may be of the upset thing make me have a headache. Not easy to stop thinking about what happen in morning but in th end did felt better even suddenly know that the bus stop service from 9.30am till 1.30pm cause i got class in 8am so didn't notice today have a closed book assessment so like finish at 10.30 then have to caught a bus to someplace to buy stuff then somepeople told that the bus stop service between that time and suggest me to take a train and i have to walk a while to the train station and i have not take a train at this country before so felt abit nervous n scare. headache the whole time. eventhough i reach the place to buy thing i still have to caught a bus home cause there only bus go to my area so have to wait till 1.30pm. okay time here bus not here wait for 1 Hour and 20 min then the bus arrive while waiting my headache getting worse. this is not the worst part of my day.
3rd is when i reach home only me in the house. went into MY ROOM saw a sticky note on my HEATER which i know is HER(sister a.k.a Father 2nd daughter) stick it on it there wrote RUDE WORDS on it on the second sticky note first sticky note is just some signiture of her.On that time i cant hold my tears anylonger i cried on a same time trying to stop to cry.(95% sure is her hand writing)(5% hope that im wrong)
4th in the end i wanna to let father know that what her lovely precious 2nd daughter did. okay this might be the worst part fpr me in today he asked me i told him that i found it on my heater and ask hom to ask her 2nd daughter by himself he asked how smart of her trying to change the topic by saying "can i eat this" still did not answer the question she say that her writong is not that bad n went into room left ne do the answering but i have no answer..THE stupid thing that father say is who wrote this could it be any one else.since he should know that:
1. i found it in my room and looks like her writing
2.she the only one how how to unlock my room door and go into my room
but what do we know he don't believe that she will do such things even there is proof in front of him.I'm so so angry and I say then is me if not her.tears are out that time cause it really hurts me but i don't think anyone in this family really cares.What do i know again im right again no ones really cares my feeling. may be can't blame them already.inthe end she come out and tell father that is her friend wrote it.well well y dont i trust her cause she's lying that what she always do to get out of toubles that she did PUSH IT TO OTHER.
That time i was in my room crying like hell what can i do o said anymore NOTHING he always listen to her more than me trust her more than me.WHY??
What did i do wrong??
In this house I'm better than her but why do u treats me like this and treats her so good..when i say no one care really no one cares he then no come to me talk to me o see how i was doing ..HATES IT
Chat with my cousin she understand me but she only n listen since we are in different counrty.
-THE END-
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