unhappy again?

Dear Dairy,

Actually i have a not so good day again but don't know how to said so I'll just said these few days.

4 days now me and father talk but he didn't said anything about the stuff happen before or may be they don't even notice that I'm upset/hurt.

The day after we argue i didn't really talk to him not even say about That younger SISTER until today i don't n did not talk to her.am i cruel??

Who cares? i trying and learning not to cares what they(family) think of me anymore.No matter what in the eyes/hearts/mind the younger Sister is always good and the youngest is naughty but still a kid and as for me..I'm the one who always stick with the computer and look stuff to argue with the younger sister

but can i really do it? not care? sometimes i really don't know whether do i belongs to this family or may be i should say most of the time.even though this keep on wondering in my mind the facts is in their daughter too..just that not in the first place and haven't been in a long long time..i know it cause i can felt it

Why?people said at "home have family,outside have friends"..seem like i don't have both..
everything i have/used to have are now gone.

Family:who's upset/hurts me the most.
Friends:those can be trust and are close and understands me in different country..those in the same country are not close and not sure can be trust..

I'm not an active person or a person that good in talking or social..in another words I'm bad in those.

Trying to change my life but think is easy and when really wanted to do it is so hard for me..I don't know how long can i takes it anymore..really don't know what else to think or do..

But still hopefully things will change and gets better for me

-The End-